Monday, October 17, 2011

hilang II

aku hilang
di balik timbunan kertas
merawang mindaku
ingatkan kamu

aku hilang 
didalam duniaku
berjalan meniti waktu
mengenang yang lalu

aku hilang
di ruang emosiku
rindukan kau

masihkah ada waktu
untuk aku berjalan pulang


kehilangan ku
mungkinkah kamu tahu

atau aku tetap hilang
hingga akhirnya

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

:: hari itu ::

aku terkenang zaman kecilku
di pagi hari sebelum aku ke sekolah
berjabat tangan ayah dan ibuku
seperti biasa menciumnya
aku berdiri menjengket 
dia membongkok
untuk memudahkan aku menciumnya

subuh lalu

sebelum aku pergi ke pejabat.
aku salam ayah
lalu seperti biasa 
aku menciumnya
aku terasa dia semakin tua
dimamah usia
bila aku menciumnya
aku separas dengannya

aku pergi ke dapur mencari ibuku
aku jabat tangannya
mencium pipinya
lalu aku melihatnya
mukanya berkedut
dan aku sudah lebih tinggi darinya

aku sayu

Friday, August 5, 2011

::bulan puasa dulu-dulu ::

mmm... bila tiba bulan puasa dan tengok adik bongsu a.ka. si kenit aku makan speghetti dan makan ayam goreng macho (yg agak popular kat kawasan rumah aku) setiap kali iftar sampaikan ade sekali tuh ibu aku sibuk berniaga kat bazaar ramadhan terlupa nak beli ayam goreng favourite adik aku...adik aku tuh boleh menagis dan merajuk kat bazaar ramadhan tuh...dah lah menagis kuat pulak tu...mak kau pown terpaksa lah beli ngan pakcik yg terakhir beli ayam tuh..sbb nak puaskan hati adik aku yang baru tahun pertama puasa penuh...teringat pulak mase bukak puase mase zaman aku kecik- kecik.

dulu aku ade sorang maid..mak cik ani aku panggil...dia pandai masak nasi goreng...bayangkanlah...bile berpuasa selama sebulan..tiap tiap hari aku makan nasik goreng...sahur pown same...nasik gorng...bayangkanlah makan nasik gorang 60 kali dalam sebulan.walaupun ayah ngan ibu aku beli macam-macam juadah untuk berbuka puasa... aku tetap nak makan nasik goreng maid aku tu. sampaikan pak cik aku pown tumpang sekaki makan nasik gorang...dah macam tak sah kalo kitorang tak makan nasik gorang mak cik ani aku tuh...sedap...tapi mak cik ani aku tu tak kerja lama nagn family aku sbb dier nak balik kampung jd lepas dier balik kampung..tak dapatlah aku makan nasik goreng yg die masak lagi.

selepas mak cik ani aku tu berenti kerja kat rumah kitornag...bulan puasa yang berikutnya...aku addicted pulak dengan nasi ayam....macam cerita nasi gorang jugaklah...hari- hari aku ngan adik aku makan nasik ayam...sampaikan ibu dan ayah aku tak payah tanye...aku dan adik aku nak makan ape...diorang dah tau jawapannya...mesty nak makan nasik ayam...adik aku akan pilih peha...aku punya favourite part dada ayam...sbb aku tak pandai sgt mkn part yang bertulang...

hish bile teringat balik zaman kecik2 dulu...aku gelak sendiri lah...klaka...bayangkanlah...makan benda yang sama tiap-tiap hari...seronoknya zaman aku kecik dulu...hanya tau nsik gornag dan nasik ayam...tak banyak kerenah...dan tak banyak yang difikirkan...tak terlintas langsung nak beli benda benda lain utk buka puasa...senang...bile dah besar nie..dah pandai nak rasa macam macam...yang akhirnya aku sendiri konfius nak makan apa...kan senang jadi budak budak...hanya tau seronok je...tak de sibuk2 nak beli macam macam

Happy Fasting...!!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

:: my confession ::

this is my confession:
  1. i have a bad habit where when i am hungry i will say to myself that i am hungry then i will go to the kitchen and hope to find something nice to eat. Then i will open the fridge with hope that i will find something intresting(on that period) which is usually i will not find the food that i want then end up just drinking water( mmm... my bad habit that love to open up the fridge even-though i know there is nothing that will interest me in the fridge)
  2. I am a spoil girl. i always get what i want. i will fight for what i want. if my parents did not give me then i will find a way to earn it myself.
  3. i love to travel. that even-though that i did not have the money i will still travel. travel what ever it takes.
  4. i love to read novel (which many of my friends find it is very surprising)
  5. i try my best not to watch horror movie. i hate it...( takut terbayang2 waktu malamm)
  6. i love to watch movies that need a deep thinking and a movies that allow me to feel the the character. 
  7. my music is like a guy's playlist. lifehouse, arctic monkeys, the breaking benjamin, john mayer, incubus, byk sgt lah...tak tersebut
  8. a lot of people think that i am a serious person.hahahaha...sebenarnye tak. ok...!
  9. i am easily touched 
  10. i have a big family. i have 2 mommy and 2 daddy that i love
  11. i love to drive. i love to drive especially at night
  12. my most beloved possession are my hp pavilion laptop, my gap tote bag that i bought with ashikin razali, my mp3 player, my thumbdrive, my ray ban craft caravan shades, my novels, my watch that i bought with mara loan, my graduation watch that my dad give and my stinky pillow
  13. saye suka tidur lambat
  14. i luuuvvvvvvvvv nasi kandaq
  15. i usually try to hide what i feels that i am afraid that ones will feels offended. and i try my best not to show if i am unhappy, i am sick because i am afraid to say no and turn down people that have hope on me
  16. i am the first daughter and the first grand child of the family
  17. i love money...
  18. i love cars... and i prefer to drive a sedan car
  19. i love both of my mummy's dishes to the extend that i will ignore when my mum ask me to cook and  and i will try thousand of thing that makes me escape to do the cooking.
  20. i try my best to make everyone happy
  21. most of my friend think that i am rich but i am not. i earn the money myself. i do the chores and work for what i want to spend.
  22. if i watch a movies i love a movies that have scenes where the hero is sick or die (psst...i love to watch guys when they are in pains. it's amusing)
there is a lot of things that i want to say, till the next time.

- sk -

Thursday, July 21, 2011

:: jauh ::

aku rasa

jauh dari dunia

jauh daripada mereka
jauh hingga tak tergapai

aku jauh untuk hatinya

aku rasa aku jauh
jauh daripada dunia nyataku

Sunday, July 10, 2011

:: aku si budak kecil ::

aku si budak kecil

dapat sesuatu ditangan
gembira bagai

aku si budak kecil
mendapat yang baru
yang ditangan ditinggalkan

aku si budak kecil
akan ketawa mambuat ria
membising suasana

aku si budak kecil
mahu mengembirakan ibu bapa

aku si budak kecil
walau lubang kocek nya
dia tetap gembira

aku si budak kecil
gembira pabila hatinya dibelai

aku si budak kecil
suka pabila digula-gulakan

aku si budak kecil
gembira bersiar-siar bersama bapanya
di petang hari

aku si budak kecil
gembira bila diajar mengaji

aku si budak kecil
mahu seribu persoalan dijawab

aku si budak kecil...

Saturday, July 9, 2011

::tarot numerology::

dah nak mengarut lagi...lepas tarot card aku cube pulak numerology tarot...huhuhuhu... mesty ingat aku tak de keje kan...
memang pown..(w'laupun keje byk menggunung)

huhuhuhu..menggatal je tangan nie menaip kan...pasal bende yg tak berpaedah nie....

p/s:ini hanye suka2...jangan ambil ini sbg pedoman haraaaam 

dan result aku no 2 ...

"What does a Life Path number of 2 mean?"
Saadiah, you have the potential to be a source of inspiration and illumination for people. You possess an inordinate amount of energy and intuition. There is so much going on in your psyche that you are often misunderstood early in life, making you shy and withdrawn. You have far more potential than you know.

As an 11 Life Path, you are a highly charged version of the 2 and possess many of the characteristics and talents of that number. You galvanize every situation you enter. You inspire people, but without your conscious effort. Energy seems to flow through you without your controlling it. This gives you both power and sometimes emotional turmoil.
You are a channel for information between the higher and the lower, between the realm of the archetype and the relative world. Ideas, thoughts, understanding, and insight -- all of these can come to you without your having to go through a rational thought process. There seems to be a bridge, or connection, between your conscious and unconscious realms, attuning you to a high level of intuition through which even psychic information can flow.

All of this amounts to a great capacity for invention. Many inventors, artists, religious leaders, prophets, and leading figures in history have had the 11 prominent in their chart.
Because you are so highly charged, you experience the consequences of a two-edged sword. You possess great abilities, but indulge in much self-reflection and self- criticism. You often feel highly self-conscious. You are aware on some level that you stand out. Even when you try to blend with your environment, you often feel conspicuous, alien, and out-of-place.

Saadiah, you are blessed with a message, or a specific role to play in life. But you must develop yourself sufficiently to take full advantage of that opportunity. Until that time, your inner development takes precedence over your ability to materialize the great undertaking you were chosen to perform. Consequently, 11s seem to develop slowly, but they simply have more to accomplish in their evolution than the average person. Thus, your real success does not usually begin until maturity, between the ages of 35 and 45. You may often be frustrated, largely because you have extremely high expectations of yourself. But these expectations can be unrealistic, and can prevent you from accomplishing anything. You can be very impractical, envisioning a skyscraper when all that was necessary was a two-story house.

You may also suffer from bouts of confusion and lack of direction. This gives rise to loss of confidence and the onset of deep depression. The cause of these emotional problems is your lack of understanding of your own sensitivity and potential. Your desire to achieve some great ambition is enormous. However, a lack of confidence in your own ability to realize this dream may cause you much frustration. You sense the enormous potential you possess, which requires equally enormous confidence in your ability to materialize your dream. Confidence is the key that unlocks your potential.

On a strictly physical level, you must protect your nervous system, which is inordinately vulnerable to stress because of your acute sensitivity. Depression is often the result of long periods of stress that have gone unrelieved. Seek out peaceful and harmonious environments, relaxing music, and follow a healthful diet in order to restore balance and peace.

You can be extremely diplomatic and tactful. You are also patient and cooperative. You work well with groups and somehow find a way of creating harmony among diverse opinions. You enjoy music and poetry and require a harmonious environment. You have an eye for beauty and a fine sense of balance and rhythm. You have healing capabilities, Saadiah, you are a sensitive and passionate lover; your perceptiveness makes you aware of your partner's needs and desires, which you are able to fulfill with almost magical delicacy. However, when you feel you have been mistreated or jilted, you can react with devastating power, sometimes using personal criticisms vindictively.

You are a fine companion and possess a good sense of humor. When you have found your niche in life and begun to realize your true potential, your rewards will more than compensate for your trials earlier in life.

:: tarot card reading::

hye...mlm tdi aku dah buat palm reading...dan ptg nie aku try buat tarot card reading.saje je tgn nie menggatal lah kan...hehehe...

p/s:jgn jadikan ini sbg pedoman.ini hanyalah suka2...

Universal 6 Card Spread

Card 1 (The Tower) : How you feel about yourself now  »

You feel that the disruption and sweeping change you are going through, or fear you are about to go through, will be catastrophic. You need to recognise that such upheaval can force new directions that you never dreamed possible. Subconsciously you may have wanted change, but as is often the case, the solution isn't always as we expect. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.

Card 2 (The Lovers) : What you most want at this moment  »
The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is to know what choice to make - carry on as you are or take a risk? The risk offers excitement and change and staying as you are .... Well you know what that has to offer. Dare to love, dare to live?

Card 3 (The Moon) : Your fears  »
Lies and insecurity are likely to be prominent in your life at the moment, you are afraid of being deceived and feel that you are being misled. Trust your instincts and let them guide you away from those who may seem charming but are only out for their own gains. Your turbulent emotions are muddying the waters - step back and try to find clarity of mind, although this may seem difficult. The Moon does help to illuminate the way and don't worry, it will turn out alright in the end.

Card 4 (The High Priestess) : What is going for you  »
All lines are open in your telephone exchange with your intuition, and there is no better guide than your intuition. Listen, listen carefully and the secret you want revealed will be shared with you.

Card 5 (The Chariot) : 
What is going against you  »
Watch out for being too arrogant or letting that ego of yours get over inflated, nobody likes a know it all. Watch that temper too, aggressive bullying behaviour will only set you back. If this doesn't sound like you, beware of someone like this that could set you back. This is a time of movement and change, and conflicts ending in victory, so don't give up.

Card 6 (Wheel Of Fortune) : Outcome  »
Expect life to change and quickly. Fate, destiny or synchronicity, call it what you like, positive change and good fortune is evident here. If you have important choices to make trust your intuition. Do you feel that events seem to be evolving without much input from you? If so trust it and go with the flow.

:: insomniac palm reading::

bile dah bosan dan nak buat sesuatu nie lah jadi nye...
saje nak wat palm reading la konon...
pasnie nak wat tarot card reading lak...
teringat kat Asheecane Razali
buat tarot card reading kat hostel dlu...

p/s:ini hanya suka2 bkn utk dijadikan pegangan.hanya ingin menilai diri dr sudut berbeza.

and this is the result...ade yg betul gak hanya kita yg dpt menetukan nasib kita bukan dr bacaan palm reading atau tarot card

This palm reading is for your left hand, your minor hand. Your left hand tells the potential you were born with, and your right hand tells what you have done with it. Therefore, this reading will tell you the potential that lies within you.

You have a Fire hand. This is known as the instinctive hand. You are creative and imaginative. You surround yourself with people, more comfortable in groups than alone. You are generally unafraid to take risks. You launch yourself enthusiastically into all your endeavors, driven by your passionate nature.
You have a fairly adaptable personality. You could thrive in a number of different life paths. You daydream of adventure and novelty, although you may not make the effort to make it happen. It is quite possible and likely that you had or will have difficulty choosing a specific direction in life.
You are an active, healthy person with a positive view on life. You have an upbeat and confident personality that carries you through all your dealings.
You are in relatively good health and generally live your life joyfully and in high spirits.
You possess a methodical mind. You think through situations thoroughly before making decisions. Your daily life is generally well planned out.
You are a fairly straight forward person. You don't typically worry too much, though you may occasionally be prone to bouts of stress and need to be careful not to keep things bottled up, only to explode later

Lack of ambition may very well be a dilemma for you. Your decisions tend to be driven by emotion rather than logic. You are probably more of a follower than a leader.
You have an inflexible nature. You have a tendency to be very firm and uncompromising. It's generally your way or the highway.
You are a practical and realistic person. You possess the well respected and highly sought after qualities of loyalty and dependability.
You are typically cautious and thoughtful, rather than impulsive in your actions. You think through the consequences before making a move. It would benefit you to occasionally go with your gut instinct instead and step a bit out of your comfort zone.
You are a social being. You enjoy being surrounded by others, and you yearn to be the center of attention. You tend to act more on emotion rather than logic.

You are possessive of relatively good health. You are full of vitality and energy. You have a positive, optimistic outlook on life, and are able to cope well.
You possess a strong vitality. You are a vibrant, energetic person. You will live a full, eventful life. You have a high likelihood of success and wealth.
You are quite independent with a strong need for freedom and flexibility. You may be impulsive. You are full of energy, and you are confident in your abilities. You can stand on your own, self-sustaining.

You have strong mental energy. You have a strong intellect. You are an intense and rational thinker. You are a clever person with a well organized thought process.
You have a very positive outlook on life. You are a very logical thinker and a curious person. You are aware of your surroundings and are quite perceptive. You grasp concepts well. You are a highly detail oriented person. You need to be aware of your tendency to go off on tangents, losing your original train of thought.
You are most likely thrifty and materialistic. You are practical in all things. You may even over-analyze and entirely forgo emotional considerations when making decisions. You are set in your ways. You may have difficulty finishing projects. You may be argumentative and stubborn.
You are a late bloomer. You are very independent. You care little about what others think of you, forging your own unconstrained path in this world.

You have strong emotional energy. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You seek romance and grand gestures in your relationships. You are emotionally mature. You prefer relationships to the single life.
Romance doesn't necessarily come naturally to you, but you put forth the effort in relationships. You need to work to keep your relationships fresh. You need to be careful to pay attention to your emotions and not keep them bottled up inside.
Women with an upward curving Heart Line have a tendency toward high femininity, while men with this quality tend toward high masculinity, even machismo.
You have had a normal, healthy emotional development from a young age. You are a well balanced individual in your relationships, capable of accepting love and expressing and demonstrating your emotions.

Source :

Thursday, July 7, 2011

:: kamu vs kamu ::

bila kau membisu

pabila kau menyepi

adakah aku
yang keliru

atau kau
masih diulit kabus


kau bukanlah
seperti dahulu

lebih menjejas
daripada membina

kata katamu
lancang membelah

aku tergamam
yang tidak seperti dahulu

aku mahu
kau seperti dahulu

seperti yang aku kenali dahulu

Friday, July 1, 2011

:: owh gosh... ! ! !::

 dah lame tak update blog...huhuhuhu
lately i busy...eventhough unemployed...but yet..the jobs at home never finish...with this and that...picking up my sister...helping my uncle...helping my grandma...buying endless groceries...
and i am broke...
not proud to say it but..thats the truth...
but still surviving penniless...
and i want to share something...

who is he...


 his cute blurry image
whoa...!!! abang nuar...!!!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

tidak cukupkah
apa yang
aku berikan

kau mahukan lebih lagi

aku berikan semua 
yang aku ada

aku buat segala yang kau pinta
tidak cukup kah lagi

masih aku ini jahat kah
apakah tidak cukup apa yang aku berikan

apa yang hanya ku minta 

aku tak pasti adakah penagertian akan muncul

jahatkah aku

setelah apa yang ku ada aku berikan

ku turutkah

jahatkah aku
meminta pengertian


::who am i::siapakah aku::

siapakah aku 
di matamu

atau hanya boneka

siapakah aku

aku ingin tahu
dimanakah aku
siapakah aku
pada kamu

aku ingin tahu
apakah aku 
menyakitkan hatimu
atau beban mu

siapakah aku

mungkinkah aku 

siapakah aku
mungkinkah aku 
hanya sekadar
teman dikala senang

siapakah aku


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

:: kau :

masih bingung
seribu pejelasan

kau pusing 
bila di balut 
seribu persoalan

aku tidak megerti
mengapa kau 
tak mengerti

kau menyatakan
kau pujangga yang bijaksana

pandai berkata-kata
pandai segalanya

kau masih buta
walau dipermain
oleh mereka

aku hanya
apa yang 

kau masih 

Monday, February 14, 2011


sorry i have been busy lately thus i neglected my selfish i am..saying that i don't have enough time but the truth is i mis manage my time...which makes me regret at the end of the day that i waste it...huhuhuhuh...need to manage my time better...

Monday, January 10, 2011

:: encik berjari chantek ::

enchek berjari chantek

terima kaseh kerana membantu saya memudahkan kerja saya.

- saadiah abdul samad -